Mamma's don't get no sick days.

Crapity crap. I have a sinus infection. And yet....

I got up early to feed the baby, get kids up and ready for school, one on the bus, two in the car for preschool, Oops, almost forgot to brush my teeth, my face hurts so bad. Drop one off, get one down for nap, have brother over, pick up from preschool, have lunch with mother in law and help her drop off the (our) van at the dealer. snacks, nursing, entertaining, answering 7 zillion questions, diaper changes, getting OFF the bus. Oh, did I mention my head has consistently felt like it was going to explode??

Part of my problem is that I so rarely get sick.  There needs to be a service for sick Mom's. But who could do YOUR job?  Usually, not even your husband. There is NO one who has it down like you. No one can answer the questions, find the homework, NOT make chicken nuggets because only one kid likes them.  It is practically impossible to parent from the bedroom. You might as well lay on the couch. In that case, you might as well so the dishes because you KNOW there isn't anyone that is going to do them!  


I need to do so about 438 things, but I feel like I have some extra gravity holding me down right now. I can barely keep my eyes open. Not because I'm tired, but for some reason they just keep closing.  I can't take meds because of nursing, and even when I did, guess what? didn't help.  I know taking a hot shower would help clear me up, at least temporarily, but I don't trust my legs for that long. I know I need to pack up Maddie for school tomorrow, but I don't have to make her lunch, so her snack and water bottle and folder can wait til the morning. Oh, yeah, the morning. After NOT getting a real full nights sleep, I'll get up, get Maddie off and go volunteer at her school in the library. Because I said I would, so I'll be there.  Because who else will if I don't??

Dinnertime Conversations: School Edition.

Daddy: Ben! You're going to school soon? What are you going to do there, pick up chicks? 
Ben: Yeah!! With Uncle Josh!  
Mommy: Ben, whats a chick?
Ben: You know, like a bird in an egg? Before we pick up chicks we should go dig for some worms. 

Daddy: Maddie, what are you going to do if a boy kisses you?
Maddie: KISS HIM BACK!
Daddy:!!!!!!
Maddie: (laughs until she cries)

Mommy: Ben, what will you do if one of your friends takes one of your toys?
Ben: Oh! Thats one of the TEN (holding up ten fingers)!!
Maddie: Yeah! (sings) ♪ Ten Commandment boogie gonna dance until I die Ten commandment boogie You can do it so can I!♪
Ben: They shouldn't steal from me! 
Mommy: What do you tell them?
Ben: Give it back to me.  Please.

Best laid plans.

E

Ever plan a day out with your kids?  You plan meals, times, driving, budget.  You pour your precious time into making a fun, educational, tear-free time.  

First, the baby needs to see the doctor.  So it pushes us back a few hours.  No biggie.  But the cost of being us all night with him is waking up an hour later than I planned.  Well, I can forgo the shower.  Call the doctor, appointment is about an hour later than expected.  Ok, well that makes up for the sleeping-in time and, Hey! I have time for a shower now!  Feed the baby, quietly get in the shower, because the big kids are still sleeping, strangely enough.  But as I start washing my hair, I hear screaming.  Apparently, they big kids are awake and have christened the new day by fighting over the computer.  I should have gone back to bed.  

After waiting (and waiting.  They fit me in, so I shouldn't complain), Owen has an ear infection.  First of any of my kids. Goodie!  In the car, Owen is screaming, Ben is requesting we go home because of the need to play Mario "Wii-hii",  No, we're going to the Dino museum.  We don't want to go to see the dinos!  Too bad.  We are GOING to have fun, and we're almost there.  

We get in the building, "OOO! turtle skeletons! Look, Mommy there are---I want to go home." I literally have to grab Ben's shirt to stop him from running out.  He is afraid of the T-Rex.

 We have a meltdown about chips in the cafe.  Owen decides, while Ben is screaming, that it is a good idea to join him.  I would like to cry as well. We have only seen about 1/4 of the museum and I'm done.  

What happened to my good intentions? Don't they realize I am trying to have FUN with them?  Why is it so hard?  It makes me not want to leave the house!

First Fruits

My garden has finally started to produce, though we have had a few peas and beans. Yellow pear tomatoes, beefmaster tomatoes, dill, rosemary and a pepper

My makeshift mortar and pestle, with olive oil, rosemary and dill.  I don't usually like Rosemary, but it the aroma of the herb was so intense and amazing.  I have never smelled it like that before!

Pepper. It smelled so sweet!

Red, white and purple potatoes (store bought), onions, yellow pear tomatoes and the pepper, drizzled with olive oil and kosher salt.  Rack of lamb with white pepper, kosher salt and the rosemary/dill/oil rubbed on the inside.

mmmmm

Life goes by...

...so quickly.  In two days it will be August, and the last month before school starts again.  I was bound and determined to DO things this year, and so far I am doing really well.  We have Zoo'd,

Farm'd, Playground'd, Splash Park'd,

Had a concert,

 had a baptism,

  Vacationed at the beach,

 swam at the pool,

 visited with family,

went to vacation bible school,  gone to too many birthday parties to count and had a few of our own...WHEW~ Today we visited the Stony Creek Nature Center, which was very different from the LAST time we were there when Maddie was 3 and Ben was 0.We went with Sara and Michael and William and saw a snapping turtle eat goldfish. Ben said "He ate them and RIPPED them apart and parts of the fishies were FLOATING!".  Then we went on a walk and fed the fish pretzels.  Maddie, Ben and Michael put their hands together and shouted "Bird Watchers!" except Michael shouted "ROCK STAR!!"

I am watching all of my children grow by leaps and bounds in the past 6 weeks.  Maddie turned 6.  She is tall and elegant with her golden tan and sun-blonded hair.  For her birthday she told me to "surprise her" and when Grammy asked her what she would like, she said, "You always get me such nice things, whatever you pick is fine".  

Ben is...Ben. He is constantly in motion. He love his baby brother with his teeth bared.  Literally.  Like he has so much love he can't hold it in.  Scares me a little!  He is tanner than I'll EVER be and always has to be "Mario" when they play an imagination "Game".  He can write his name and recognise many letters.  He CANNOT wait to go to school. 

Owen is growing steadily, though he is my smallest baby at 14 lbs, 1 oz as of July 16.  I think he grew last night, though because he feels heavier.  He has rolled over and can grab things and SHOVE them in his mouth.  He still has a mohawk.  He love to eat and to have attention paid to him.  His giggles are like fuel for my tired brain.  He mostly sleeps through the night, and I am the most blessed mamma ever.

I'm glad I write these things down. I probably won't remember what we did next summer!  I'm also glad I write a journal for each of them.  It helps me recall those funny things that I didn't remember and hopefully, one day, we can sit down and share the memories. 

My Garden

As a child, one of the most exciting times of the year was getting the garden ready with my dad.  We'd toil in the dirt, go to the nursery for plants, get them in the ground and then waterwaterwater until harvest.  We had oodles of tomatoes and cucumbers.  Farther back, we helped Grandpa in his garden, picking raspberries (watch out for the bees!) and other things he had in a small garden in his backyard in Warren.  This is the first year I'm planting my own, with the exception of a few potted plants on the deck at the condo.  Oddly enough, I came across a picture of the "first" tomato I ever picked from my own little potted garden.  The date on the picture is July 22, 2003, one year to the day before my first real baby was born.

These are some pictures of my little garden at home, built with love by ryan for mother's day.

Tomatoes

We have a ton of animals...so far so good

Yellow pear tomatoes

Onions

Peas

peppers

These were here when we moved in, I'm not sure what they are.

Making my way back to Me

This last pregnancy dragged me to the depths.  I counted every second until he was born, and practically did nothing else.  Tick Tock. It consumed me.  Everything suffered. My children, my home, my relationships. I wasn't me.  I was The Incubator.  Don't get me wrong, My baby was one of the most important things on earth to me, but somewhere along the way I put Me down to carry the weight of the baby. 

Now that Owen is here, we've developed a routine and settled in, I need to find Me again.  This weekend, during a rare moment out with my husband he said he missed "You and Me".  I replied that I wasn't sure there was a Me anymore.  Then I decided to find Her.

This seems like a selfish attitude, but it's not. This is for him, for Maddie and Ben and Owen.  There's a book called "If Mama Goes South, We're All Going with Her", and thats what I feel has happened. I need to get back to the place where God intends me to be, on the ball, under control, able to cope.  I'm not there right now.

But I'm working on it.  I have never been a very motivated person.  Some would call me lazy.  But in my heart, I HATE having a messy house.  I just don't know where to start.  So Yesterday, I made a list (I love lists).  I worked hard and got most of my stuff done.  It also helped that the kids were angels.  I tried to give myself slack for not completing everything.  I do have a few (three) things that get in the way, and demand attention (every three hours for 25 minutes), so my conditions are not ideal.  I am Not Perfect.  I cannot Do Everything.  I will Stay Motivated.  (I need a Nap). 

I continued today and my kitchen is clean.  I give myself small goals, last week I tried to keep one side of my counter completely cleared off.  (not an easy feat, we have an insanely small area of counter space).  This week it's both sides of the sink.  I'm trying to keep the small counter cleaned off too, but I won't "require" it of myself for a few days.  It's clean now because of a party, and I'm trying to keep it that way. 

I'm also working on my body.  Three kids and stretchmarks up to my eyeballs later, I'm NOT happy.  Trying clothes on this weekend put me thisclose to tears.  Today is the first day of a new challenge for me.  But I have issues, nursing requires more calories,and any type of jumping is practically out of the question, unless I duct tape my breasts down.  Time is also an issue, chasing the big kids and having Owen gives me long enough to do about 7 minutes of anything.  But I'm gonna try, I'm gonna do my best.

Lastly, I'm focusing on my spirit.  Both my spiritual self, and the relationship with God, (which has also been lacking, though I do a LOT of praying right now) and my own spirit, who I  am.  I got a Kindle for my birthday, and I love it.  I am an information seeker. I read voraciously, and now is not the best time to have any time to fill the space.  I need to read.  Though I still love to hold the pages in my hand, smell the ink on the pages, the Kindle allows me to turn pages with one hand, balance it on my knee, hold my place.  In a few days, I've read a ton already, and feeling more stimulated by it. I can read 5 or 6 books at a time (as I am prone to do) and not chase them down when I want them. 

I have taken my Bible out of my car (for small group! I always forget it, so I leave it in there) and opened it up next to me.  Pastor Tim suggested Ps. 139 23-24, and I'm going to take it to heart, seeking to be led when He wants me to go. 

I worry that I'm trying to do too many things at once.  But I hope I can make it without getting too frustrated in the set-backs.  The timing is good; summer started, new year for me, I feel fresh.  Time to get started.