Can nothing in my life be smooth?
Every part of my life is a mess. My relationships, my house, my kids, my self. When can I catch up? I don't sleep, I fight with everyone, I get nothing accomplished. I feel like a zombie.
I get no help. And when I ask for help, I get bull. Everyday I move farther and farther into the land of no return. I don't even know where to start.
I looked up a house online the other day. The condo at the end of our complex, where the lady died. Oh, it's only $35000 less than what we owe on ours. AHHHHHH! We will never get out of here! We have so much work to do it isn't funny. But I can't get my husband to take out the trash, much less finish a job he started in November, so where does that leave me?
Ben has a doctors appointment on Thursday, but I decided to take dairy out of his diet and see what that does. So far, it had changed his poo to solid, regular-ish poo! I cannot be happier about that. I'm still taking him to see what he's allergic to, dairy or lactose, or anything else.
So why do I feel this way? I don't even have the energy to finish this post, or make sense of it, let alone get dressed and ready for the day. Hell, the day is half over.
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I feel the same way a lot of times. I think being a stay at home mom makes things harder sometimes because when you have a bad day, you don't get to go home in the evening and shut the door on your failure at work. You walk around all night seeing the messy house, the evidence of your ineptness in your face all the time. Drives me up the wall!
ReplyDeleteOh, and our house is also worth less than what we paid for it now. We'd love to think we'll be able to afford a new, nicer place someday...but it won't be for a long time.
So, I don't know that this is an encouraging comment, like I meant it to be, but just know: you are not alone in the way you feel! Not at all.
ugh... I hate those days (sometimes weeks) where I feel overwhelmed about everything. Hope you're feeling better.
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