Today

Though I feel the anxiety bubbling up just beneath the surface, I have made the determination to have a good day. Had some lost sleep last night, due to munchkins, but still I stand strong, energetic, motivated. I've gotta push through.

I'm going to a stability ball workout class, which I have never done before. I try to do Zumba twice a week for cardio, then one other class for toning. I just re-started my working out after surgery so I don't want to kill myself. I had been doing Zumba three times a week with a Iron-Yoga thrown in. I'd like to add an elliptical workout one day as well.

Tonight is small group, I forgot I wanted to make cinnimon rolls, but maybe I'll just get some at the store. Cheating, I know.

Ryan put a bid on the house yesterday. We will know in a few days whether or not it was accepted. I want to know NOW. I want to call the bank and politely request to push the paperwork through. I will be patient. I will be patient. I WILL be patient!!

Anxiety

I can handle stuff. I'm not stoic, or unfeeling, and I have my moments, but generally, I can get through without having a major meltdown. When I was pregnant with Bennett, I was riddled with this anxious fear that something was going to go wrong. I never felt that way with Maddie, and I chalked it up to hormones. Boy vs. girl. I don't even usually get PMS, so it was a crazy roller coaster time for me.

So why am I feeling this anxiety now? (I'm not pregnant). We're trying to put an offer on a house today and I'm freaking out. We've looked at a bunch of houses, we've been in this situation before, so why do I feel like I'm sitting on pins and needles waiting for the bomb to drop?

I KNOW. I know that if we don't get this house, it wasn't meant to be. I am so clear on that. There are TONS of houses out there, and one has our name on it. Part of the problem is that Mr. Stoic Himself told me yesterday that he REALLY wants this house. Oh. So for a week you give me no indication that you are seriously interested, then you lay it on me? I'm the one who found the house, so I feel like I will be letting him down if we don't get it.

Last night while soaking I the tub I found a passage that fit pretty well. Daniel is trying to guess what Nebuchadnezzars dream was, so he goes to his friends and prays with them. God gives them the answer. So last night I put out a request on Facebook (what would we do without Facebook?) to my friends and asked them for help. In just a few minutes I got 7 replies. I need an army to help me out on this one!