dreams

I have always been a vivid dreamer.  This has been passed down from my mother, but before her, who knows.  I seem to have passed it to my daughter, at least.  There are dreams I remember from childhood, nightmares so real that I awoke panting and short of breath.  Times when the dream was so real, I wasn't sure whether the touch I just felt was in my head. While pregnant, I dreamed of my babies.  In grief, I have dreamed of my loved ones.  

Yesterday, I had a discussion with my 86 year old grandmother, who agreed with me when I said that I did not want to be 130 years old. She said she was ready, whenever God said it was time.  

Later that evening, We discovered a friend at school has been diagnosed with Acute lymphoblastic leukemia.  

The tone of this dream was not sad, or melancholy; I knew we were going to die soon, and it was ok.  We got our affairs in order, writing our will, and sort of goofing off to pass time.  I got in a car driven by my mother and while driving, a reckless car passed us, then caused us to spin and flip.  I felt as though I was excited.  "This is it!" Like a gift had been promised and was finally coming to fruition.  I felt a sharp pain in my lower abdomen, and wondered why it hurt, as if I had been told it wouldn't.  Then, silence; darkness (or, in reality, grayness), as if a plug had been pulled.  I felt a little apprehensive for a moment, and began to be lifted upward, sliding slowly in my blindness.  

I awoke (in reality) to the feeling of being lifted...as if I were lifted right into consciousness.  I still felt the slight apprehensiveness of the unknown.  

This is the second dream I have had when I die in a car crash.  Though slightly different, the grayness was similar, and the "plug" effect was the same.  In the previous dream, I awoke very upset, because I was unable to tell Maddie that I loved her (she was in the car as well), and not to be afraid.   

While I wrote this, I realized the similarities of my dreams.  I had chalked last night's dream up to the events of the day.  

Now...what.