nothing much, only EVERYTHING!

I have little time these days for much on the computer. A quick check here, a posted picture there. I supposed it's better that way. I can get sucked in, then get bored. I have often wondered if I have reached the end of the internet. I have so many other things to do. Like packing. And painting and cleaning and taking care of the kids and ... well, you get the drift.

I have been practically husbandless all week. Meeting, practices, concerts...all the week we are attempting to move. I shouldn't complain, I was aware of these things beforehand, but it still comes as a shock to have so much to do and so little help. MIL Cheryl took Ben up north for the week. She was bored, and he is busy, so she figured she'd kill two birds. I do miss him, but I think I may have killed him if he was alone with me all week. He is quite something sometimes, and he has a tendency to time it just right for when I'm about it lose it.
So I only have Maddie, who graduated from Preschool yesterday. I didn't cry as much as I thought, but in one song they sang "mom, oh mom, what would I do without YOU!" and that was it for me! I will miss her little class and all the nice moms and normal kids. We're not talking perfect. I mean normal in the crazy, having a bad day sometimes, why in the world did you do that? kinda kids. None of the moms were clique-y, though I think the one dad that dropped his son off was intimidated a little by all the estrogen. I'm glad that many of those kids will be in school with her in kindergarten.

We have the Solid Rock concert tomorrow. It's at the Emerald Theatre and its our rockin' church band. They're doing a mix of worship and rock tunes, so if you're interested, the doors are at 6 and the tickets are $10 at the door. All ages are welcome, in fact last year I took Ben! He was hilarious, playing drums on pop cans and cups with straws. This time he's missing it, but I can relax a little more, even with Maddie there!

WHEW!

As if buying/selling a house/condo wasn't enough, we've got a million other things going on.

This past friday was Sam's birthday, so Mom, Jim and I drove over to Grand Rapids for dinner at an awesome Tapas restaurant called SanChez. It was a long ride back and forth, but it was worth it. The food was amazing, I got to meet Sam's sisters, who will be my step-sisters in a few weeks. Everyone was really nice. I did have one problem, though. All three of the Postma girls are drop-dead gorgeous. Not fair. Creamy skin, high cheekbones, killer bodies. Smiles that light up a room. Could one of them be even a little frumpy? No. Not my luck. Could one be stuck up? No, sweet. ARG.

Saturday, I awoke bright and early to my little son who LOVES to wake his mamma. Even though I had gotten to sleep about 3am, he came up at 7:30. The day went downhill from there. Needed to go grocery shopping, mothers day shopping, returning some things. No energy, no money. I dragged myself around 2 grocery stores because I get meat and produce at one, everything else at the other. Ben wasn't very good, trying to get out of the cart multiple times, putting random things in the cart when I wasn't looking. Maddie had gone with my mom to hang out. Tried to exchange the things, none of the size I needed. Couldn't just get a store credit, have to wait for it in the mail. ~sigh~ Got to my moms to pick up Maddie and she says "we have a surprise for you". But it's not a good one. Maddie decided she wanted "medium" hair like me, mom, Kaya. So she cut it. Bangs, then a huge chunk out of the side/back. So I called Kaya's grandma, who has a salon, and asked her to help us. She came to our rescue and fixed it up, giving her layers to hide the damage. I don't have a problem with Maddie wanting shorter hair. Ryan does, but I think that it's her hair and if she wants it shorter, that's her prerogative. But I just wish she hadn't done it on a crappy day when I was hungry and exhausted. I was sad. She looks really old. But it does look pretty, she didn't do a bad job, no close-to-the-scalp cuts. She cut the really blonde part off, but the curls have returned more. It's more wavy, and that makes me happy.

Mothers day was not a huge deal. Ryan was gone for church, so I had to get myself and the kids ready. Our pastor asked who got breakfast in bed. HA! Then I drove home after church and prepped the shish kabobs and left again to go to Brio for lunch with the Kuchenmeister Clan. Good lunch, I had Risotto. Then back to our house, for a nap (which NEVER happens) and then I made dinner for Mom and the Trombley Clan. I told Ryan I was done with child activities and would be opting out of all motherly duties that evening. I did get something i wanted for Mothers day, hanging baskets for my new front porch. They are so pretty!

And one quick one about Ben

This afternoon, we went over to the new house to take out the carpet, tack strips, padding and other miscellaneous junk because tomorrow is garbage day. Ben followed us down the driveway with every trip and once on the way back, he fell and skinned his knee. He didn't cry, he rarely does when he gets hurt, but he said "OH my knee!" and continued on like nothing had happened. A few minutes later, we got into the car and he says, "Mommy? Put it back to-gether". I turned around to see him rubbing his little scrape, trying to put the skin over the injured part. Awww...

Then we were driving behind a big truck that had words on the back. Maddie starts reading them. "Kiss.... My.... Cown... no.. Country.... (Ryan starts talking loudly to her, but she is undeterred) ...Ass." Ryan and I look at each other, and she starts singing a song behind us. WHEW! we lucked out on that one! It's so much fun having a 4 year old that can read!

But I couldn't get a picture.

Maddie is starting to get embarrassed when we talk about her. I was relaying story to Ryan yesterday and she said "Mommy, don't ever tell daddy." She was singing a song on Disney Channel, a sad one about Pooh missing Christopher Robin. Then when the song was over she said "Oh, Spongebob, don't cry!" to the invisible Spongebob. I love living in Imaginationland.
This morning it was a shout, "Mom! Help Me! I'm Stuck!" I was downstairs and ran up to help her. I thought it was odd, because she wasn't crying, and she cries about everything. I ran up to the family room and she was standing under the window with the curtain twisted around her hair. She had twisted the curtain so many times that it grabbed a small section of her hair and she was trapped. I laughed so hard. She was standing there with a purple tornado on her head. I wanted to take a picture, but she wouldn't let me. I didn't want the Wrath of Maddie upon me.

I don't believe in the whole horoscope thing, but strangely enough, my "sign" does represent me a lot. I saw this article on babycenter and I thought it would be interesting. I didn't even have to read farther than the Title line when it came to comparing my sign and Maddie's: An Emotional Rollercoaster. hahahahahahaha!!! SO TRUE! And not surprising, it's also Sara's sign! Between Ryan and I, this is what it had to say : The key to working together as parent, in your case, will be accepting your differences gracefully. More laughter. This is very entertaining.

Bad day

Had a bad one with the kids... woke up at 5:30, never went back to sleep and fought all day with kids who got up at 6:45 instead of the usual 8 and 9. Mommy was cranky because she doesn't do well without sleep either, but the kids...I think I was speaking Chinese all day because they acted like they did not hear one word I said. I got tired of yelling and went to spanking. Do Not Pass GO, Do Not Collect $200. Do Not Call CPS Because You Said You Would Bash Your Daughters Face In. Right, I know. I didn't mean it and I was so mad I didn't know what I was saying. I couldn't reach her anyway. It just came out of my mouth. I'm not proud of my actions. I am proud of myself that when we got home, I laid down the law, doled out punishments just like I said I would (sometimes I threaten, but don't follow through), and then talked rationally, but firmly. After spanks aways come hugs. but not until they've had a few minutes to sink in :)
I still feel like crap. I feel ignored. I feel useless. I feel ineffective as a parent. I'm worn down, tired and tomorrow is going to start very soon and I'm not ready for it yet.

Ryan and I continued to paint this evening and as we were painting, Maddie and Ben were watching the BZZZ movie. That's Ben talk for The Bee movie. at the end, they sing "Here Comes The Sun. Maddie dances and sings, and felt a little better. This has been a long cold lonely winter. It does seem like years since it's been here, but it's coming and we'll all feel better with some sun shining on our faces.

I'm hoping tomorrow is a productive day. We want to move in next weekend, so we want to get as much done as possible. The hardwood floor guy is coming on Monday. I ripped up the carpet in the smallest bedroom and it already looks so good! I can't wait to be moved in. Ben can't either, apparently. Every time we leave in the evening, he complains about wanting to stay at the "Blue House". Our house is not blue. The paint was blue in the front room, but it's brown now. I think he misheard us say new house, but he's called it that since we went their the first time. I don't mind. I just am so happy that he is excited!