(It might as well be called the "elusive 2 seconds to do anything" post, as it took me 35 minutes to get beyond the title, but that's another post!)
Getting a baby to sleep is a delicate operation of skill and silence. While the baby is tired, it may fight the inevitable closing of the eyes for reasons unknown. This leads to much fussing, crying and thrashing around. After what may seem like hours of patting, bouncing, 'shhh'ing, feeding, changing and anything else you may come up with in desperation, the baby's eyes flutter closed. At this point, you may feel like praying desperately (something like "Oh, please God, let him stay asleep!:), but prayer rarely works, since God has "been there done that" and he thinks this is funny.
Now comes the elaborate dance to lay the child down. If you are standing, the baby will immediately recognize the transition to a sitting position, no matter how careful you are. If you plan on laying the infant down, you now have to walk the 20 miles it seems to take to get to the younglings room. Every step creaks, every noise is magnified. When you finally get to the crib, you realize that the position you are holding your offspring is counter intuitive to laying them down. Your arms are wrapped around the child in a way that will jar them to wakefulness. You will stand there for a few minutes, working out this complicated procedure and finally coming to the conclusion that you will " just do it and get it over with". This rarely works, unless the infant is deeply asleep, which infants rarely are. Most likely, you will have to set the child down on your arms as they are holding it, and them slowly slide your arms out. Your sweaty skin will stick slightly to the baby's skin, but this won't be an issue. You are finally free, the baby is quiet. You sigh in relief, smile at the tiny person who has just so recently been the cause of much irritation. It's easier to love them when they're sleeping. You turn, and your first step hits that one squeaky floor board in the nursery. The fruit of your loins awakens and wails, and your long journey begins again.
Getting a baby to sleep is a delicate operation of skill and silence. While the baby is tired, it may fight the inevitable closing of the eyes for reasons unknown. This leads to much fussing, crying and thrashing around. After what may seem like hours of patting, bouncing, 'shhh'ing, feeding, changing and anything else you may come up with in desperation, the baby's eyes flutter closed. At this point, you may feel like praying desperately (something like "Oh, please God, let him stay asleep!:), but prayer rarely works, since God has "been there done that" and he thinks this is funny.
Now comes the elaborate dance to lay the child down. If you are standing, the baby will immediately recognize the transition to a sitting position, no matter how careful you are. If you plan on laying the infant down, you now have to walk the 20 miles it seems to take to get to the younglings room. Every step creaks, every noise is magnified. When you finally get to the crib, you realize that the position you are holding your offspring is counter intuitive to laying them down. Your arms are wrapped around the child in a way that will jar them to wakefulness. You will stand there for a few minutes, working out this complicated procedure and finally coming to the conclusion that you will " just do it and get it over with". This rarely works, unless the infant is deeply asleep, which infants rarely are. Most likely, you will have to set the child down on your arms as they are holding it, and them slowly slide your arms out. Your sweaty skin will stick slightly to the baby's skin, but this won't be an issue. You are finally free, the baby is quiet. You sigh in relief, smile at the tiny person who has just so recently been the cause of much irritation. It's easier to love them when they're sleeping. You turn, and your first step hits that one squeaky floor board in the nursery. The fruit of your loins awakens and wails, and your long journey begins again.
We must have gotten lucky with Tyler. He's always been a pretty good sleeper... although it's 6am and I just saw him scurry into the kitchen... little f***er.
ReplyDeleteThat whole getting the baby from your arms into the crib maneuver is impossible. I don't think anyone has ever mastered it.
ReplyDelete