Madeline

This post is in regards to my dear four and a half year old daughter. Named after specifically my grandma, but also after her grandma; she's fifth generation, first daughter Mary (I'm the odd one out, just the french version). She is the much-wanted granddaughter, first girl in any family in 7 years, The heart healer for so many, in a time when we all had great holes ripped in ours. She is funny, sassy, beautiful, and ME. She know every way to push every button. She knows that she is daddy's girl, and she knows she can use that fact to hurt me. And she does.

I am amazed that this long-legged, blonde haired, freckle face came from me. Well, the freckles, yes, but they are so unlike mine, taking over my face faster than I could apply sun screen. Hers are gently dabbled on her nose, like stars in the sky. Some things amaze me, though they shouldn't. She can read, pretty proficiently, and I could too around her age. I had very little to do with it. She just COULD one day. She, unlike me and more like her father, can also do sums, make story problems, see the numbers.

She can turn on you like you would never imagine, taking away the love she so generously gave you without a thought. She will surprise you and gift you with the warmest, sweetest smile you will ever see.

My mother says it's payback. As I, too, was a daddy's girl, I'm sure the pain I inflicted on my mother's heart was severe.

I watch her, amazed that I made her (with a little help). She is such an outgoing little person, she immediately make friends wherever she is. She has talents I wish I had. She's who I wish I was, all those painful years growing up. I am trying SOOO hard to instill grace, humility, kindness in her. I want her to be the girl everyone loves, but not because she's unattainable, but because she's a rare, real, beautiful human being.