Monday, February 2, 2009

Beautiful

I was just read one of my HS acquaintances "25 things", on facebook. One of her things was that she has always thought she was beautiful, inside and out, but that no one can really appreciate it. In all honestly, I never thought her a remarkably great looking woman, pretty, yes, and definitely inside, but it got me thinking about the way I view myself. Where did she get this positive view of herself? Had no one, in the dark years of middle school, call her "Pinocchio"? Did she not get compared to a boy in first grade? Does she not constantly critique her appearance, her weight?

Mostly I don't care. I mean, who am I getting all dressed up for? I do occasionally attempt to try to look at least put-together for Ryan. But I would like to think that I'm pretty sometimes, but can never make it happen.

Everyone comments on how gorgeous Maddie is. I do think that she has something about her, not only her face, but her attitude that radiates beauty. The people say, "She looks just like you!" I mean, I see the basic resemblance, but I never know what to say, " I'm not that pretty?"

All I see are the flaws. I can name someting I don't like about every part of my body. Is this normal? I compare myself to everyone, and ALWAYS fall short. I wish I had more confidence.

I think part of this is that we're going on the cruise in 17 days, which I am SO looking forward to. But my biggest problem is that I don't want to get into a bathing suit, I don't want to wear a coctail dress, or tank tops, anything that shows off my body. I know I was OK with being 3 months pregnant, I SO had an excuse. But now, I only really have the pain of telling people I was pregnant, and I'm still fat.

And to top it off, 6 more weeks of winter. Stupid groudhog.
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3 comments:

  1. Sara LaPriseFebruary 2, 2009 at 1:22 PM

    She must some how posses the character trait of having the ability to yet it roll off. We must meet her and learn this super power. I hate all of me too, especially my big nose, which someone really did tell me I had.

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  2. AnonymousFebruary 2, 2009 at 2:14 PM

    you SO do not have a big nose! I have never even CONSIDERED it!!!

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  3. AnonymousFebruary 2, 2009 at 8:26 PM

    Sadly, I think that your friend is the rare exception. I don't know very many women who love their bodies. And I look at little girls like my precious nieces or your Maddie and wonder "when do they un-learn that they're beautiful." My nieces say "thank you" when someone tells them how cute they look or how pretty they are. When our husbands do that, something inside still rebels! What happened?

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